Every child deserves nurturing and security, but some children don’t have it. Each of us has the desire to be cared for, loved and nurtured. That little child inside of you that needs healing, (even when you are an adult), is called your “inner child” or your inner spirit. Sometimes, the people who raised you aren’t capable of giving the love and support that you deserved. Healing can happen if you direct caring thoughts and behaviors inward toward the child inside of you.
Your inner child is a free spirit that is emotional, sensitive, fun-loving, joyful, imaginative, and creative.
Finding your inner child:
- Your childhood spirit may have been tamed, lost, or forgotten, but it is still somewhere inside you.
- It can influence our decisions, even when we are unaware, because our inner child is part of our beliefs about ourselves.
- That inner child may need healing and support if it was hurt, neglected, frustrated, or abused during childhood. Even if you have masked, or hidden the inner child, it may be causing you to be worried and fearful of being treated badly.
- People often ignore their inner child if they have felt guilty or “not good enough.”
- Our inner child may be hidden if we had to pretend our family was happy and healthy, even when it wasn’t.
- Sometimes when we dream or daydream, we can picture what the little child is like.
We know our inner child is active when we:
- Lose ourselves in fun
- Enjoy playing with games, toys, or pets
- Get emotional looking at old photo albums, scrapbooks or home movies about our childhood
- Still think as a child does, seeking to please parents or extended families
Instead of nurturing and healing, many people hid their inner child and make him or her invisible by:
- Wearing one of these “masks”
- “Fashion Show Plate” – Dressing up extremely fancy or carefully
- “Make-up Artist” – Wearing too much make-up
- “Body Perfect – Too much work on body shape and exercise
- “Miss Manners” – Too much politeness
- “The Blob” – Too much weight (obesity)
- “The Glumstress” – Wearing drab colors
- “The Overachiever” – Taking on all challenges
- “The Daredevil”- Too much risk taking
- “The Perfectionist” – Being obsessive or fixated on details
Nurturing and healing your inner child:
Nurturing to overcome “Invisibility”
- Believe that you and your inner child deserve respect.
- Give yourself the nurturing, caring, love, forgiveness, and respect needed to heal.
- Let go of self-pity over being neglected or abused as a child, and take charge of your life.
- Create a bond between the adult you, and your inner child (to give you a sense of security and self-confidence).
- Like your inner child, you may think, “All I want is to have someone hug me and tell me they are proud of me. Why can’t it happen?”
- Instead, give yourself a hug every day, know your strengths, and be kind to yourself.
- Say, “I am proud of me!”
Revised from Messina, J. J. & Messina, C. (2010). Growing down: Tools for healing the inner child, Retrieved from http://jamesjmessina.com/growingdowninnerchild/innerchild.html
Blog # 10 by Mary Knutson 1-18-16 for Health Vista, Inc.
Updated for readability 5-25-20