Tag Archives: child

Trafficking

What Parents Need to Know About Child Grooming and Trafficking

Young girl looking forlorn and fearful

As parents, you need to be aware of child grooming and trafficking. You want protect your children.  But you might not know everything that is going on in their lives. This blog is meant to end child grooming and exploitation through prevention education and awareness. Child grooming is something that can’t be ignored.

Would you Know if Your Child is Being Groomed?

A “groomer” for trafficking rings finds ways to get a child to trust them. The groomers, or people who work with them, try to break the child and parent bond. In today’s world, with the internet, apps, and constant communication with others, families are at risk. It is important to talk about this, even though it is a topic no one likes to discuss.

What is Grooming?

According to ex-FBI agent Ken Lanning, the term “grooming” originated in the 1980s during a series of investigations into sex crimes against children in the US.

​He uncovered patterns of behavior and specific techniques used by predators to gain access to and the compliance of victims. Grooming techniques used by sexual predators who were not strangers but known to their victims. They work hard to gain trust and respect from children and families.

​Most children know their groomer, which is why it can make the grooming process easier. Sometimes, strangers kidnap children for trafficking, but it is not as common.

Signs that children and teenagers are being groomed:

Many of the signs of grooming can look like normal peer-to-peer or adult‐child relationships, which is why grooming is difficult to spot. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s important to trust your instincts, watch for signs, and monitor your child’s behavior. Be aware of the potential for child grooming and trafficking in your community.

​The following signs might indicate that your child is being groomed.

  • Talks a lot about a particular adult or older teen.
  • Wants to spend a lot of time with a new person in their circle of friends and won’t let you meet them.
  • Start a relationship with an older person.
  • Skipping school or sporting activities.
  • Suddenly spending less time with current friends or changing friendship groups.
  • Spends more time alone in their room.
  • Closes down their computer, or apps when you enter the room.
  • Unexplained gifts like clothes, jewelry or electronics and doesn’t want to talk about where the gifts came from
  • Does not want to talk about what they’ve been doing or lies about it.
  • Stops telling you about their day or asking for your advice.

What to do if you think a child is being groomed:

Grooming isn’t always obvious. It’s important to trust your instincts if something doesn’t feel right. It’s a good idea to keep your child away from the person you’re concerned about until you find out more.

​It’s also important to:

  • Watch out for signs that you or your child is being groomed.
  • Stop the person from being alone with you or your child.
  • Avoid letting the person do favors for your family.
  • Ask other families who know the person if they have ever felt uncomfortable or seen them do inappropriate things around children.
  • Find out how your child feels about the person by asking questions like ‘Do you like how “_______” acts around you?’ or ‘_______’ likes a lot of your Instagram posts. Does he follow you on any other social media or try to message you?
  • Make sure you know your child’s friends and parents. This will help you know when a new person entering your child’s circle could pose a threat.
  • If you’re concerned about an adult getting too close to your child, tell them you are watching them and do not hesitate to contact the police.

Learn more about prevention and resources at: www.pearlatthemailbox.org

About the author: Sheri Lopez was groomed at the age of fifteen over three months before being trafficked (sold for sex) for seven years. At age 21, she was rescued by a woman named Pearl at the apartment mailbox where she was being held. It took over twenty years for her to grasp what happened to her and another five years before she was able to speak out about this.

She is the founder of the nonprofit organization, Pearl at the Mailbox, and is a motivational speaker, author, and an advocate for survivors. She also works on legislation in Arizona, where she resides, and at the federal level to protect children and survivors.

Blog Post #33  was added 1-9-25.  Written by Guest Contributor Sheri Lopez . She can be contacted at www.pearlatthemailbox.org

 

Recovery

How to Explain Addiction to Children

Little girl child with concerned expression

Protecting and Educating Kids About the Dangers of Drugs

Parents want their children to be unaffected by addiction issues. So, addiction may not be a hot topic within your family. However, at some point, all children will probably face peer pressure or witness someone who is struggling with a substance abuse disorder. As your child grows, you can help her understand and develop skills that prevent her from going down the path of addiction.

Avoid Assumptions

Don’t assume that your child knows about addiction and related issues. According to kidshealth.org, opening up to your child about the dangers of substance abuse makes it more likely she’ll come to you for help when she faces a problem or encounters peer pressure.

Don’t assume your child already knows the dangers of drug and alcohol use and abuse, or that she could never fall victim. Though schools may teach students about dealing with peer pressure, it’s up to you to guide her in the right direction. You can do so by modeling behavior and keeping the lines of communication open. It’s also essential to understand the signs of addiction and substance use, and to watch your children closely for changes.

Discuss Family Addiction Problems Openly

If you or your partner is facing an addiction, start a conversation that validates your child’s feelings. Let her know she will always be loved and discuss what steps are being taken for recovery. Customize your discussion for her age group. If a child does not understand what addiction is, you could say that strong cravings can happen over and over throughout the day and night. It is very hard to resist the urge to do what it says. You could compare it to having an annoying song in your head that keeps coming back over and over again.

Acquire Knowledge

 Because it’s not easy to explain addiction to a child, your best bet is to acquire as much information as you can. Be ready to answer any awkward questions that could come up. According to Psych Central, while it’s not a good idea to lie to your child, you may want to be careful to protect young children from the grittier details.

Be as straightforward as possible if your child has questions. If she asks about your own experience with drugs or other addictions, it is best to tell the truth. Real stories can help her learn about consequences. Telling the truth about your imperfections  also establishes a safety net so your child is more likely to talk to you about her struggles.  By sharing information with your child you also reassure her that in life we have choices. Some of her choices could lead to problems, but making the right decisions will likely lead down a healthier path.

Tell Your Child That It’s Not Her Fault

Personality disorders often develop in people with an addiction, spurring them to say irrational things or lash out and blame others. Although addiction is no one’s fault, the addicted person is still responsible for their own behavior, and is the only person who can make recovery successful.  If an addict tells a child that she is the cause of the substance abuse, it is not true and it probably isn’t even how the addict really feels. Help your child understand that she shouldn’t carry a burden of guilt when loving someone with an addiction.

Find support

A support system is crucial in maintaining a sense of normalcy and stability in families. This may include a support group, friends, family and an accountability partner. Parents often face high levels of stress and need to make tough choices that will mold their child’s life. Parents need to seek support for themselves as well as for their children.

Addiction can affect everyone involved, especially a child who doesn’t fully grasp the concept of addiction. Offer support and protection to your child, repeating the fact that you love her. By talking openly about addiction, you can help her to grow up with the knowledge and confidence to just say no.

Blog  by guest contributor, Jackie Cortez of ThePreventionCoalition.org posted for Healthvista  February 20, 2018.

Revised for readability 5-25-20 by Mary Knutson

Image Courtesy of Unsplash